Mom Guilt is the gut-wrenching feeling we feel in the pits of our stomach right after we make what we thought was the best decision then doubt it. It is always second-guessing ourselves. Always feeling like we are not doing enough and that we could have done better.
Being a mom means you need to be strapped in and ready for a bumpy ride of emotions and challenges! This emotional rollercoaster will have you feeling joy, anxiety, and all the in-between. Mom guilt?! Ugh, why do you exist! I wish this was something we mothers did not have to feel, but it’s real! And totally normal!
I have been consumed with mom guilt when I have to say “Not right now, Mommy’s working.” “Not right now, Mommy’s cleaning.” “Not right now, Mommy’s cooking.” “Not right now, Mommy’s tired.” Sometimes these are the answers when our child wants our attention and it is followed immediately by guilt. We feel instantly bad because we feel like we’re not doing enough with them even though we know we make time for them. It always feels like time is speeding by us and we’re losing precious moments.
I think we can all relate to this form of mom guilt – losing our patience! Talk about immediate mom guilt, ugh! Our sweet adorable little humans who test their limits all day long and know just how to push our buttons eventually get to us and we snap! We are human ourselves and can only take so much!
I know we may not be able to ditch the mom guilt for good! But, I sure hope these three steps can help you, and me, ditch the guilt over time!
1: Don’t Compare
Motherhood is both messy and beautiful has become one of my favorite sayings because it holds so much truth! We are deep in the era of unrealistic social media pressures of a glamourized life. The truth is, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies – and that is OK. Let’s aim to be unapologetically true to ourselves. Social media has its pros and cons of course, but what we see on social media is mostly the BEST of everyone. While that is lovely, it can cause us to compare and question ourselves. So what should we do? It’s almost impossible to stay off of social media!
-Unplug: set time limits and boundaries on social media.
-Be Mindful: remember we are not always seeing full transparency.
2: Initiate Self-Care
Self-care is making the decision to intentionally choose you. That in itself will help us learn it’s ok to put ourselves first sometimes. Remember self-care isn’t always spa days and massages! Self-care can come in the form of mindful practices that help with our emotional well-being. It will help teach us to be patient with ourselves and in turn, will help us exhibit patience with our children. In addition to patience, it is also important to practice positive thinking and encourage positive self-talk. Replace those negative comments to yourself with understanding and warmth. Be gentle with yourself!
3: Find Support
Support support support! I find it so helpful to be around like-minded people, to know you’re not alone and other Moms are going through the same situation. Being able to relate to others provides an open space for discussion and my favorite – venting! I am a firm believer in not keeping things bottled up. Although we are guilty of that sometimes it sure does feel good to finally let it out and open up. Therefore opening up helps us realize that we’re not alone and most times we find comfort and encouragement! I pride myself in making MomChat’s Instagram page an open environment of relatable content – check it out!]
Our children do not need perfect mothers they need healthy and happy mother’s. While we let that thought marinate let’s get to work on these 3 steps and ditch the mom guilt!