Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.David G. Allen
Mothers and Patience is similar to Oil and Water
Becoming a mother you don’t realize how much your patience will actually be tested. From the time they are born you experience the lack of sleep, challenges with breastfeeding, to possible health issues, toddler tantrums, the talking back, and more! We lose our patience way more than we want to, we beat ourselves up about it, try to do better, but lose it again. It is a #momlife cycle that we ALL go through! I know I instantly feel guilty when I lose it, especially when they just want to hug you even though you yelled! Ugh my heart! You are not alone – check out this article on Mom Guilt – Three simple ways to ditch the Mom Guilt!
How Can I Become More Patient?
Today, we are going to look at 4 simple ways that have been helping me exercise patience with my children. Certainly, this will always be a challenge, but the important thing is that we try. As mothers and women, let us never stop trying to be the best version of ourselves!
4 ways to practice patience in motherhood
1. Take a Deep Breath
Seems silly right? But, TRUST ME! It works!! Most importantly, in the heat of the moment when you feel yourself about to lose it, STOP! PAUSE! And take a deep BREATHE! Deep breathing has been known to calm you down and lessen stress and anxiety. For example, with my children, this particularly works when a spill or mess is made. I just breathe and clean it up! No use crying over spilled milk, am I right?
2. Think Before you Speak
This is something we learn as young children that we should carry with us throughout our lives. Emotions can definitely get the best of this. Thinking instead of reacting seems easier said than done! I know that all too well. I am a very emotional person and that interferes with being rational at times for sure. Again, PAUSE – think about the situation at hand, your tone, your attitude, your child, then react. To sum it up, children will react to our reaction, so it is up to us to keep it positive.
3. Be Aware of Personal Triggers
Am I tired? Still upset about something that happened at work, in my marriage, or with family? Am I not feeling well? Am I overwhelmed? Asking yourself these questions can impact your reactions. Learning your personal triggers is so important in our individual growth and how we handle situations and challenges. We lose our patience faster due to outside factors. Our children, unfortunately, can get the brunt of that. Frankly, that is not fair to them. To remedy this, it is important to practice self-care! Self-care helps with our mental, emotional, and physical health. Try out this challenge! Self-Care 5 Day Challenge
4. Gain Perspective
Understanding what is truly important can help guide us on how we react. For instance, as adults, we get upset and we either lash out or deal with it in a mature manner. So why get upset at our littles for lashing out? Why do we expect our children to behave and react like adults? Learning to see life through our children’s eyes will help us with our reactions. Taking a moment and stepping back to look at the bigger picture we can become more patient. This article, by Melinda Moyer, has helped me to gain a better understanding of our little ones and their development –Why Kids Don’t Follow Directions – Is My Kid the Asshole? (substack.com) . Here’s another resource that helps me have a more positive outlook: Evelyn Mendal, LMHC (@hatchandbloomco) • Instagram photos and videos – check it out!
Parenthood is a constant learning process. None of us are perfect and we won’t get it all right all the time. What’s important is that we continue to try. Aim to be the best we can be, but also be easy on ourselves. Practicing patience with our children and ourselves can improve our motherhood journey and other aspects of our life as well. I hope these 4 ways to practice patience in motherhood can help you as they are helping me! I will continue to try my best to implement these practices on a daily!