Pregnancy and infant loss are devastating realities that many women and their families face. Feelings of joy and excitement are turned into devastation and heartbreak. October was proclaimed Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in 1988 by President Reagan to honor and remember all of the sweet angels gone too soon.
When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, their isn’t a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes.President Ronald Reagen
Today we are sharing Sadia’s story in honor of pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. I’m thankful for her bravery and vulnerability in sharing her story. Our hope is for other moms to know they are not alone and the grieving process is different for everyone.
1. Please share your pregnancy loss journey.
I found out I was pregnant the second week of January 2022 it was very unexpected, but really how “unexpected” could it be? *wink wink* Although it was a surprise we were both excited and ready to welcome our bundle of joy! I started to get extremely sick around 6/7 weeks of my pregnancy. I was hospitalized and was diagnosed with HG (hyperemesis gravidarum)
Despite the 24/7 sickness, I was still overjoyed, because at the end of the day it will all be worth it and I will be holding my bundle of joy. Our first ultrasound visit was around 10/11 weeks, and we were elated to finally see the baby on the big screen. Little did I know that would be the worse day of my life. We found out we were having twins, but they were conjoined and they shared a heart. Two bodies, but one heart!
2. What were your initial emotions and struggles when you received the news?
The emotions that went through my body are unexplainable. I felt like a failure. I felt it was my fault – maybe I shouldn’t have taken the medication for my extreme nausea? Maybe I should have paid more attention to my body so I was aware I was pregnant? How could this happen to us? My other babies were 100% healthy, and I felt as if my soul left my body.
We went to three different specialists, two were in different states. and each Dr. gave them less than a 1% chance for them to make it full term, let alone survive birth at 18 weeks. God took them away. He needed the girls more than I did.
3. How are you coping with those emotions? What helped you begin to heal?
Honestly, I am still coping with emotions! My belief in God and family support has been major during this time. My boyfriend has 100% been my backbone as well as my other kids!
4. Having 2 children already – please tell us what it was like parenting through your emotions.
I think the hardest part was telling my 6-year-old son . He was excited about being a big brother again. He loved rubbing my belly and talking to the baby. It’s tough experiencing emotions so strong and being strong for your kids at the same time. Finding ways for them to not see you cry and be sad all the time. Many times I had to cry in the shower or step into my closet and just take a deep breath when my emotions were getting the best of me in front of the kids.
5. Generally, most people only think of mom in this situation – what was dads experience like after receiving the news?
He dropped to his knees when he heard the news, and he came straight to wrap his arms around me in the doctor’s office. He really didn’t show much emotion because four days after he was rushed in for emergency surgery and was hospitalized for 6 days! So with us just losing our girls, we were dealing with him almost losing his life due to poison entering his bloodstream from an infection through his wisdom tooth! I think a month after he finally broke down but I am glad he did. He also goes in and out of emotions asking his own question on why this happened to us.
6. What advice would you give others to say or do when a mother has experienced loss?
Everyone will experience grief differently. Personally, I wanted to be left alone from the outside world. I removed my IG from my phone and put my phone on DND. If it wasn’t for my kids and family I would have kept behind a rock. I wish I opened up to my Momsnsideout page sooner because all the comments and encouraging messages really helped me to know I wasn’t the only one on this journey.
7. What words of encouragement would you offer to moms who have experienced loss?
In my opinion, you can never tell another mother how she should or should not feel. Everyone’s journey and situation are different. I believe it takes time to get back into your routine but then again you’re never really back in the routine. So my advice is just to keep positive energy but to know it’s okay to be sad.
Thank you, Sadia for opening up your heart to us.
I know it was difficult to recant your story and emotions to the world. Sending you lots of love and light on your healing journey.
Real stories by real women help us heal. Mama, you are not alone. If you or anyone you know experienced loss send them some extra love during this month of awareness!
Please send Sadia some love in the comments! And as always feel free to share your journey with us 💞
Sadia is a mom of two and the creator of Momsnsideout_ on Instagram! Be sure to check her out and follow her page for all things REAL about motherhood!
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