Do you know what really grinds my gears? [Insert visual of Peter Griffin here]
When someone asks me if I’m having another child and I say no, yet they continue pestering me! “Are you sure?”, “Don’t you want to try for the boy?”, “3 is nice.”, “Go for it.”
Umm, I’m sorry Sally, are you going to come to take care of the baby you so badly want me to have? Will you be there for every late-night feeding, sleepless night, or explosive diaper change? Are you going to support them financially? NO! I didn’t think so.
PLEASE stop asking me.
Unless you and I are really close, I genuinely don’t understand the audacity of nosey nancies! This is such a loaded question. We have no idea what someone else is going through trying to conceive or if they even want a child.
Trying to have my first was not the experience I always hoped for.
Negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test really put a damper on my soul. Every time someone asked me when I was going to have a baby it was a stab in the heart. In time I was diagnosed with endometriosis and at times the dreaded question left me in tears.
Thankfully my journey led me to become a first-time mom to a beautiful healthy baby girl.
My little miracle, my joy, my everything. I was soaking up every moment and cuddle we shared together and boom! Here come the nancies – “Aww she’s so cute!”, “When are you having another?”, “she needs a sibling,” (I didn’t know a newborn needed a sibling. What they need is their mama!)
The last thing a new mom needs to hear is when are you having another?! Can we adjust to our new role? We are literally learning and growing with our new baby. Also, many moms who have experienced any type of fertility or loss are not even sure if another healthy pregnancy will happen again.
To break it down a little further, here is a list of 10 reasons from moms why they don’t want another:
- My kids are older and self sufficient. Defintiely enjoying more freedom!
- We are financially stable and do not want to add any stress to that.
- I just don’t want to!
- I finally achieved work and family life balance.
- I am past the sleepless nights stage.
- My first pregnancy was too complicated / My labor experience was complicated and overwhelming.
- I experience too many losses. I am secure and happy with one.
- I don’t think I can mentally handle another! My patience is already wearing thin.
- This world sucks!
- My kids can stay at home without a sitter.
It goes without saying a baby is a blessing from above and we love and our cherish our children dearly, but that doesn’t mean we must have another. There is no definition of the perfect family. Our family’s are imperfectly perfect just the way we are.
A lot of moms cringe when asked if they are having another.
The point is, what you think may be an innocent question can really be intrusive and hurtful for some. Think twice before asking someone when they will have another child because you never know what someone is going through. Instead, ask mom how she and baby are doing!
When you are faced with the question when are you having another baby – what do you say? Share your responses with us!
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